30 September 2010

Things That Make Me Go "Arrrgh."

  • Lovebug gunk on my car
  • Dirty dishes
  • My new doctor suggesting that A) I give my son Carnation Instant Breakfast and B) stop breastfeeding.
Now, if I come back deficient in some vitamins or something, that's one thing. And it will be addressed. But seriously? Stop doing something that significantly improves both his AND MY health in the long run?
What. The. Hell.


EDIT 8:40pm: I just looked up the ingredients in Instant Breakfast. Aspartame. Start your day with a hole-y brain, anyone?

24 September 2010

Farmward Bound.

We've already discussed this, and will NOT be circumcising any future son we may have. Wish I'd known this before...

Also, this next link is about 10 things you may not know about baby formula. The interesting part (or at least, interesting to me because I used to(/am starting to be again) sensitive to it) is that carrageenan is known to contain MSG or produce it during processing.

Mmmm, neurotoxins.

How soon can I move to that farm we're planning?

23 September 2010

Dear Future Self. (Take Two: Revenge of the Giggles.)

Dear Future Self,

I hope you're not still watching Stargate. Like seriously, woman, leave it alone. Daniel Jackson is not a real person, give it up.

If you're reading this, it means you're still alive. (Yay.)

Which brings me to my I You We-Better-Have-Done-This List:
  • I hope you're learned how to cut cheese properly. And make it. And no, I never use euphemisms, so you better have learned how to make cheddar that rocks my socks off. Please drop it off as soon as you get Mr. Fusion installed. Just be sure to sign an insert with it with someone's name whom we know - like our god-twin.
  • Kim rocks. You better have kept in touch with her, even if you've had to invest in Australian postage & currency with every scrap of your allowance because she's living in the outback and you have to grease the palm of the courier because he's a bit dodgy. Even if it's just to say, "Hi. Nothing new here. Brian's a nerd. Cam's an oinker. [insert teasing of future kid(s) here.] Garden's big. How's your internet? Any more tattoos? I like bread. Bye, I love yoooou..."
  •  You better have hung on to Brian. 'Cause he's pretty darn nerdy, and I'm not sure where he'd end up if you cut him loose. Probably snapped up in an instant by some ho. Or a midget wrestler. Also, life would suck without his massages. Keep that in mind when he hasn't cleaned the litter box in a week.
  •  Built a cob house yet? If you haven't, get on that before I hurt you. You know that scar... yeah. That's what I did. Get on it already, while you've got the free labor (yay children!).
  •  I sincerely hope you've learned how to keep your mouth shut by now. Especially when working with drywall (or other dusty substances).
  • Sent Désirée a pirate ship, out of the blue. Because she & David have only one interest: pirateage. (Which is different from piracy, yo. (Ho.))
  •  Figured out our theme song. (And no, for the frillionth time, it can't be "Fruity Oaty Bars".)
  •  Used up the last of those penis post-it notes from our bachelorette party. The last few are around here somewhere, and one of them has our insurance agent's info scribbled on it and is tacked to the bulletin board.
As long as you're not in mad debt because you've been dumb, I think I'll forgive you if you haven't completed *everything* on this list. But now that you've read the letter, you've got a year...

Use up those post-its!

Love,
Yourself <3

22 September 2010

Dear Future Self.

Dear Self of the Near Future (maybe 2012, 2013?),

Get off your fat arse before you get preggo again and find a homebirth midwife.

Even if it costs a million $$ and homemade cookies every day for a year.

Your last labor could have been so much worse. And it had its WTF-are-you-doing-you-@$$hat moments (which you thankfully repressed and didn't write about. Thanks, random blogs about birth trauma for dredging some of that up. Now I have to freaking deal with it.) And if that amniotic sac doesn't burst, leave well the FUDGE alone!

Trust your body. Labor at home, where you can relax (yup, being poked & prodded and in a weird place ain't gonna do that fer ya. What were you thinking?). Relax = less pain = faster labor/delivery.

You can do it.

Love,
Yourself <3

15 September 2010

Pssssss...t.

Things That Have Happened:
  • We were inundated over Labor Day weekend with guests.
  • Cam has started stacking blocks instead of knocking them to smithereens.
  • Cam says "yeah" now. It's stinkin' cute.
  • I saw a cardinal (haven't seen one in our yard before).
  • Brian finally finished the clothesline. (The stained diapers thanked him profusely.)
  • I managed to break my custom-made night-guard again. (Stoopid teeth-grinding.)
  • Cam has started using the potty.
Exciting stuff, I know. ;)

I've been reading Diaper Free by Ingrid Bauer and The Diaper-Free Baby by Christine Gross-loh; the books are making me rethink what we've been doing. Elimination communication (EC) is not potty-training. It's recognizing when your child needs to pee/poo, and teaching them where they can do it. You're free from dependence on diapers, not diaper-less. It was kind of like a light bulb went off in my head - I know he doesn't like to be dirty. I remember when Cam & I went down to meet Brooke & Kyle for the first time; every time the kid kicked his legs and then started crying - he had just dirtied a diaper.

The "theory" behind waiting until they're 2 or 3 now is at that age, kids are "ready" and before then, they can't control it. After reading these books, I put two & two together: other very young animals don't like to soil themselves/their nest; why would human babies? They may need help getting to where they should potty, but they know they need to go. (Plus, at 2 or 3 kids are beginning to assert their independence, which means getting them to do something drastically different... um, tough.) They learn there's no extrinsic reward for using the potty - just that they don't have to sit in it! Yay motivation! (When was the last time you got a gold star for peeing in porcelain? ;) )

We've been doing this for 9 days now. We had 4 "misses" (= misses in communication) up through yesterday, and we've had 3 so far today. But today he also told me three times that he needed to go, so I think we're making progress.

Last night he did not wake up at all. When I went to get him this morning, he had peed only a little. And when I sat him on his potty... let's just say we were there awhile. :) A few days ago, I put him down for a nap nekkid. (When you begin to EC, it's helpful to just leave the kid nekkid all the time, so you can tell exactly when they're going and you can cue them appropriately instead of finding it later. Remember how you can't scold a puppy for an accident 10 minutes ago? Same principle.) He woke up dry. I can't remember the last time that happened.

Now when I put him in a diaper (before bed, or before we go out of the house), he sits up and grabs it, all perplexed. It's hilarious. :)

Here we are for the 1st Gator game of the season...
4 September 2010

A little bit different from last year:
24 October 2009

03 September 2010

The post where US maternal care makes me a witch. With a B.

(...and proud to be one. ;) )

I stumbled upon this report yesterday by Amnesty International. You know, the human rights group. They did a report on maternal care in the US. It's ridiculous. "It" here being the maternal care, not the report.

http://www.amnestyusa.org/demand-dignity/maternal-health-is-a-human-right/the-united-states/page.do?id=1351091

Summary: Maternal care in the US sucks monkey nuts. Our maternal mortality is higher now (13.3 deaths per 100,000 births) than in the 1980s (6.6). The kicker: There are no federal requirements for reporting maternal deaths, and the authorities concede that the number of maternal deaths may be twice as high. (pg 10) All we know is there are a crap-ton of barriers up for women with limited means and women of color. (Do I need to draw a Venn diagram here to see the overlap?)

This gets me really steamed up, in particular because of the correlation with abortion rights. And an imaginary conversation I had running in my head with a conservative "Pro-Lifer" (aren't we all anti-death and pro-life? I mean, except for death metalheads? but that's a slightly different issue...) - I like to sub in my FIL for the conversation. That does nothing for my blood pressure, however.

P-L: Abortion should be banned. It's murder.
Me: Really? So you're going to provide free, high-quality maternal care for all of the pregnant women out there who wanted an abortion, but thanks to your stance can't get one? Or is God going to provide that, too?
P-L: No. Er, yes. But I don't want to pay money raise taxes to do it.
Me: Why not? If a fetus is so sacred, doesn't it deserve the best care? And since the woman is carrying that baby, shouldn't she also be well taken care of? Did you not talk about the importance of the future generation at our wedding?
P-L: It's her body & baby. She should pay for them.
Me: A) You're turning a rights violation into a discussion about money. B) You denied her the option to abort, so you've taken on some other responsibilities now. This is almost as messed up as court-ordered cesarean sections.
P-L: What?! I never said that.
Me: Well, when you decided that she couldn't be trusted to make the right decision one time...

I always win [...in my mind...]. :)