30 September 2009

Prep the nest!

Holy crap, I'm seriously nesting.

Today I swept/vacuumed the entire house. I washed the bathroom rugs. I washed the cat beds. I trimmed and vacuumed the cat furniture. I reorganized our family room. I labeled our new (free!) Publix grocery bags. I set up the playpen. I'm thinking about finally applying the art-y glass decals on our front door windows... and/or making brownies. I also want to reorganize our kitchen (which does need to be done at some point).

Brian is outside, prepping the front flower bed. We're going to plant in containers, but we need to put down some landscape fabric and gravel first. Winter squash, yum. I think I've managed to freak him out of the house (gotta remember this one). :)

So... yeah. This feeling good thing is kind of freaking me out.
I blame it on the gorgeous weather!

Update, 9:30pm -

I applied the art-y glass panels. AND made brownies. I didn't reorganize the kitchen... but I did wash up 45678765 things that probably could've waited until tomorrow. Or the 10th of never.
*face palm*
Going to bed now before I find myself doing something else that is not vital to my everyday life...

28 September 2009

The Name Game.

So chances are if you've directly communicated with me in some form over the past 6+ months about babies, there has been mention of names. Here are my thoughts/rationale on the subject with (as always) a liberal application of sarcasm.

'Have you thought about names?' (or some variant thereof) is usually the second question people ask when you tell them you're pregnant or they assume "it's not a tumor". (The first, of course, is 'boy or girl?' - and when you answer with one, you get all kinds of *fun* responses... but that's another post.)

When you stop and think about it, what the crap kind of question is this? No. Pregnant women do not even consider names until they've had a chance to thoroughly study their babies for at least 9 months. Women in general do not have any opinions on names whatsoever until they've given birth. Oh gosh, better get on that...

Have I thought about a name... No, I've been thinking about numbers and symbols. No, I had a lobotomy last year that makes thinking a little difficult. Damn, it doesn't come with the social security number?

Then there's the less asinine variety, "What are you going to name him/her/it?" I've mentioned previously that Brian finds my viewpoint on this particular question "amusing". I think there might be a little annoyance in there, too. :) (As in, 'why can't we tell everyone if we've already settled on a name...and why did I marry this crazy woman?')

Maybe it's because I think a lot about these things but to me, words (names for things) are incredibly powerful. I don't want to name something that hasn't even been born yet... I'll pick out a name, but I won't name it. Naming a baby is a rite of passage, just like birth. Every person is birthed and named. (Thankfully, the "how are you going to birth him/her?" question is relatively infrequent. I don't usually have to explain about the incense and witch doctor...) Why would I fling the name of my future child carelessly about to anyone who asked... especially before he had actually been named?

Refusing to answer this question, even with a semi-polite (for me) "We're not telling people right now", seems to be some kind of affront to certain people - even complete strangers. Because not knowing is the most horrible thing ever, you know. And it reflects how much I dislike you on a very personal level. Most people will, however, stop asking eventually... when it becomes clearer that no, I'm really not joking. I doubt anyone's talking that much about the kid that having a name to apply to him would make their lives/conversations much easier. Hell, I can get by just fine calling him "little man", "monkey", or his codename, "Magnum"... and he's physically attached to me at the moment (not for long... not for long!).

Hmm... so I guess it boils down to me being a private person and not seeing a reason for the rest of the planet to know what we're naming our future kid. They'll have the rest of his life to know his name... let us have our time now.

19 September 2009

Suction. (but more like suckage.)

Okay, I'm done with being preggo. Today's top 3 reasons:

1. I thought I had shrunk a particular pair of shorts too much (or something), so I went upstairs to change them before watching the Gator game... nope. Little man just keeps gaining weight and is sitting low enough to make sitting like a lady with my knees closer than 10" to each other next to impossible. Lumbar spine's loving all this, by the way. I now officially have one skirt and one pair of yoga pants that let me sit comfortably.

2. I'm having actual contractions now; while they aren't particularly scream-inducing, they're just painful (and occasional - had 3 today) enough to get really f'ing annoying and make me cranky (not that that's hard). A little different from Braxton-Hicks, which just feel weird (belly gets all tense, but there's no pain).

3. Brian & I went for a walk around the neighborhood after dinner/the game and little man pulled the trick of shifting so that he was laying on a nerve or something. For about 100 feet, it was extremely slow going... because I couldn't walk semi-normally. (Yup, I'm a waddler now.) Gah, radiating leg pain. The one other time he's done this, we were about to enter Target, in front of 345678765 thousand people... that was fun. (LoL)

Good things about today:
* I made macaroni & cheese (with broccoli) and froze it. Yay, 4 more meals. (I think that brings us up to 27 two-person meals, if my figuring's right.)
* Lane Kiffin can suck it. (Dude, you can trash-talk, but be sure to bring your A-game. This is the SEC.)
* Brian discovered the house has network cable running to pretty much every room. So that media PC shouldn't require him drilling a hole in the wall... (yay!).

Other funny tidbit to share:
Brian and I were talking about fetuses' legal status as people (or rather, not), and he said something about how pro-life people would feel differently than I do about it. To which I replied, "Well, they can [frustratedly searching for some kind of comeback] ...go suck an egg." The funny part being I didn't quite get what I had said until Brian shook his head, smirked, and said "That's bad, honey..." :)

I can still plead placental shunting... for now.

16 September 2009

Calfs and ankles unite!

We went to the "midwife" yesterday... turns out the same doc as last time was filling in for her (hope she's not sick or something!). Everything looks good, blood pressure is still excellent. But that's not the most exciting news. :-D

I've gained 4 lbs.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, magical Rice Krispie Treats... thank you. Although in all actuality, it was bound to happen... I mean, little man's main job up 'til his debut is adding a nice, healthy layer of baby fat. I should reasonably expect to gain weight. Now to just deal with that extra four pounds hanging out, bouncing on my bladder and stretching out my spine... The bump is now large (and low) enough so I can't really wear the back support belt-thing (the elastic-velcro monster, as I call it) comfortably anymore. Sorry lumbar spine, you're S.O.L.! And of course, there's the whole ankles & feet on revolt thing... apparently they don't like carrying an extra 20 lbs., so they need to accumulate extra fluid on a regular basis.

So begins the Cankle Revolt of '09!

09 September 2009

Episode VI: Return of the Hormone(s).

When someone goes in for the first prenatal appointment of their second trimester, they need to be handed a piece of paper with Admiral Ackbar's picture on it.

Second trimester = smooth sailing. You start feeling better, you're finally showing but aren't so big you're uncomfortable 24/7, mood swings become a distant memory. (Maybe even your libido comes back.) In other words, this is the fun time. You're hesitant at first, thinking that you're just having a few good days in a row. As days become weeks, however, you become more confident. Pregnancy "symptoms"? You're not suffering! It's great!

Cue week 29. (Otherwise known as the aforementioned Episode VI.) Suddenly, symptoms from months ago are back with a vengeance. Bending over involves nausea again, but this time from internal organ compression. That is, when you can bend over. Mood swings? Try mood tsunami.

All is quiet as hormone levels rise... with no indication of impending disaster unless you have some advanced seismological warning equipment (this may be a worthwhile investment, dads-to-be... unless you like wearing a cup). Then, BAM! You're doing something inane, like watching your cat chatter at the lizards outside (he'll never learn), and start crying because your husband hasn't read that book you got from the library, like, a million years ago. And/or you want to yell/scream/hit/throw things at him. Sometimes you do, and then feel horribly guilty and cry all over again. So of course, you can't sleep, because you now can't breathe through your nose... on top of your lungs being about the size of a kumquat.

Makes one all nostalgic for 6 months ago, when you just had to carry around tissues and a wastebasket...

08 September 2009


Dear Whatever Deity in the Sky I Feel like Addressing at the Moment,

Please explain to me why my boobs have to get even bigger. What did my husband do to warrant such a reward  and what can I do to top it? Wasn't two cup sizes enough?!

Reply by email would be best (or just comment on the post, plzkthxbai).

P.S. If we name the kid after you, will you relent?

04 September 2009

The Good, the Bad...

...and the hormonal. You can really tell the progression of hormones through these lists, I think. Weepy grateful -> weepy angry/disturbed -> angry/P.O.'ed. Oh well. Them's the brakes when it's 3am and you can't sleep. And little man's discovered the trick of wedging a foot at the TOP of my uterus! :) (Incredibly comfortable, oh yes.) Trying to focus on the good right now (there's more, I just can't think of them at the moment)... I've just had a rough week.

Good things about being pregnant:
*Smiles from strangers (or friends and family, lol)
*Getting help lifting/moving things without having to ask half the time
*Feeling sexy with a belly
*Feeling little man kick/respond when you talk to him
*Finding that one person who gets it: "The baby's getting bigger! How wonderful!" not "Wow, you're getting huge..."
*People who ask politely before they touch your belly.
*When the cats curl up around my belly and start purring.
*Friends who let me vent/have a complete meltdown, and then talk about non-baby-related things.
*Always having dibs on the last bit of anything.
*Brian being willing to pick up food on the way home, no questions asked.

Bad things about being pregnant:
*People commenting to Brian how he is "making" me do things like climb stairs. Because, of course, I don't have free will...nor am I two feet away at the time.
*Lack of sleep and comfortable sleeping positions.
*"So you've got what, two weeks left?" (with more than six to go); "Are you sure it's not twins?" (for the fifty-millionth time... not funny anymore); "You need to eat more, you're not big enough."; "So you're about ready to be done, right?"; "Lose some weight, fatty." (even in jest, not funny.)
*Hearing random birth stories. Luckily, most of our friends don't have kids/haven't been pregnant yet. But hearing Brian's boss/manager/[insert appropriate term here] talk about how his wife's OB had to manually strip her membranes to induce labor was a LITTLE DISTURBING. If she were present, I doubt he'd be talking about fingers in her vagina so recklessly (or I hope not!). Did I mention I had just met him 30 seconds prior to this story?
*People who think it's their god-given right to stroll up and molest my bump. If you jiggle it, it does hurt - thanks!
*Feeling guilty about not doing things (work, writing, etc.) that I wanted to get done because fatigue has set in again.
*Feeling completely hormonal and yet completely justified getting upset with some of the things people do/say.
*People bugging me about the name, or insinuating/telling me either that a) they have every right to know or b) that they're going "to get it out" of me eventually. Yeah, when the kid's born. Until then, shut up about it. (I'll leave it at that for now, since I'm going to write a post about names too. Brian finds my take on them... amusing.)
*People assuming pregnancy/babies are all I want to talk about/think about.
*Commenting on how hairy my belly's getting. Really. Because pregnant women aren't at all self-conscious or hormonal at times.
*Men commenting on 'how women complain too much about pregnancy, especially when they [women] wanted to be pregnant in the first place'. Until they (the men) have attached a bowling ball inside their pelvis (and drug it around for 4+ months), had leaky pec implants without stretching skin first, had their ankles and knees swollen (like something out of 'Misery'), been constipated for weeks on end (sorry to get graphic), AND been sunshine-y perky throughout all of this - STFU. Those same hormones that make them protective about their pitiful excuse for testicles can make pregnant women feel like hell (or worse).

01 September 2009

Ode to puffed rice + corn syrup + butter...

...and practicing blogging with pictures. You know, for two months from now when I start posting pictures of this. (Have to, we decided in the car today. Tailor-made for us.)

The nursery is now more-or-less complete. The walls still look a little bare (waiting on pictures from Kim - like Emo Gorilla!), and we still need to get ceiling hooks for the hot air balloon and also the awesome mobile from Katie & Colin, but... the furniture's all there. We got a dresser (solid pine!) at IKEA that doubles perfectly as a changing table. The bassinet was actually made by my grandparents when I was born. And the crib (with organic mattress!) is all set up... probably was the hardest piece to select.

We had an OB appointment today... that Brian went to! The doctor (who had the personality of dry toast the first (and only other) time I met him) actually made eye contact with me this time, and sat down to answer my questions... and basically didn't rush out of the room 30 seconds after coming in. We left, and Brian said, "Wow, I see what you were talking about." No idea that it was 400% better than last time... I'm wondering if it was because Brian was there. I'm hoping the midwife's on call when I go in. *grumble*

Everything's measuring well. I asked specifically about my weight, because I still haven't broken 130 (I was so sure I was going to :( ). It's been pretty much all bump & boobs for me... though I suppose if I start gloating now, I'll put on two lbs a week for the remainder of my sentence. :) Doc said the kid's going to get what he needs, and the only reason they even give weight guidelines is so many people put on too much weight during pregnancy. He doesn't see a problem with my weight now, as long as I keep eating healthily.

In light of that last adverb...

Since I've recently been known to eat 1/2 or 2/3 of a 13x9 pan of Rice Krispie treats throughout the course of a single day, I've decided to counter my addiction to them. With... fruit smoothies. We'll see how successful that is, given that the sweet airy crunch of marshmallow-y goodness can make me wake up at 3am and sneak downstairs for a bite... or two (thousand). Wish me luck!